How to communicate better in your relationships!

It’s not easy to communicate if you don’t know how, when you face difficulties or when others decide not to listen, but it is one of the most important reasons behind the success of every personal or business relationship!

No one really knows why we fail when we want to say something important or why we fail to understand others when they try to say something that is important to us, but one thing is for sure - you can get better at communication if you really decide to educate yourself about it!

I am not saying that I am an expert on this subject, but I have learned a lesson or two that I would like to share with you.

How our Brains work:

Fact 1:

We store information in our brains and then, based on who we are talking to, we retrieve what’s necessary. We then organize that information accordingly before communicating it to our audience. This action in the brain is called ‘Outlining’. If we want to talk to a child and an adult about the same subject, we retrieve the same information from our brain but we then organize it differently before talking to them.

Fact 2:

Some words or information could mean different things to different people. For example the word “Cold” could mean insensitive to some people and chilly to others. “Success” could mean money to some people and happiness to others.

Fact 3:

The same information could trigger different emotions in different people. For example “You Lost Weight” could make someone feel good about themselves or make someone who is insecure feel bad about themselves by thinking “was I fat before?”

In order to become a better communicator, we must learn more about ourselves and things that we fear the most:

Fear of Acceptance

Wrong: What if others do not accept what I am trying to say? It’s too much work, forget it!

Right: Even if she doesn’t accept what I am telling her immediately, I know she’ll eventually see my point.

Fear of causing pain to others

Wrong: What if he gets hurt if I tell him the truth?

Right: Pain will be replaced with trust. It’s okay to cause short term pain for a long term happy relationship.

Fear of being wrong

Wrong: I am not sure about my own feelings, what if I start this conversation and then I realize that I was wrong.

Right: It’s okay if I am wrong, because it’s better to be wrong then to ignore my feelings and stop learning to become a better person.

If you knew that the single reason behind every successful personal or business relationship is communication, wouldn’t you really try to overcome your fears and educate yourself about it?

Some great books to read:

How To Get What You Want At Work

20 Communication Tips For Couples

I Love Snow Boarding!

I have been skiing for about 25 years and I was kind of getting bored on the mountains.

This year, I decided to start snowboarding even though I have been disputing it for many years. I have heard horror stories of how people got major injuries boarding, so it kept me away for long time. I was given a board for Christmas this year so I no longer had an excuse of why I shouldn’t start.

It’s been great fun this winter on the mountains. I am loving it! I have learned to do the twists and turns and I feel like I am in my 20’s again. It feels great to start a new sport where I can be out in nature and enjoy the snow.

Learning a new sport is not only fun but it also helps me with my co-ordination and balance. I am sad that winter is almost over and I look forward to next winter.